Pelosi: "First we have to impeach Donald Trump before we can find out why we impeached him."
Schiff calls his Amazon Alexa to testify: 'She knows absolutely everything'
Barack - Obama - Trump - 'I - July
Barack Obama critical of Trump for failing to insert 'I, me, my' into his 4th of July speech: "very unpresidential!"
Pelosi on Trump's MS-13 "animals" comments: "Four legs good, two legs bad"
Doritos - Maker - PepsiCo - Line - Women
Doritos maker PepsiCo to introduce snack line for women; new Doritas™ chips will be 77% as big as Doritos and won't make any scary 'crunchy noises'
Cambridge, MA, library to replace racist 'Cat in the Hat' with inclusive 'Che in a Beret'
Pelosi - 'We - President - Order
Pelosi: 'We have to impeach the president in order to find out what we impeached him for'
BREAKING: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles's super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago. Everything is dead. All is lost. Life on Earth is no more.
DNC - Election - Finalists - Government - Everyone
DNC to pick new election slogan out of four finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies,' 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies,' 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies,' 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies'
Will the groundprog be frightened by its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests?
Groups - Misspelling - Name - Aren't-we-fascists
"Anti-fascist" groups violently protest misspelling of their original name, "aren't-we-fascists"
Congressional Democrats: "We cannot just simply replace Obamacare with freedom because then millions of Americans will suddenly become free"
Hillary - Traditions - Wells - Earth
Hillary: "I lost, so I'm going to follow our democratic traditions, poison the wells, and scorch the earth"
Hillary: "I can hack Russia from my bathroom"
Movie - News - Big - Friendly - Giant
Movie news: 'The Big Friendly Giant Government' flops at box office; audiences say "It's creepy"
Barack Obama: "If I had a son, he'd look like Micah Johnson"
President - George - Washington - 'Redcoats - Empire
President George Washington: 'Redcoats do not represent British Empire; King George promotes a distorted version of British colonialism'
Following Obama's 'Okie-Doke' speech, stock of...
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