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She might have multiple Golden Globes, Emmys and Baftas to her name, but at least Fleabag star Phoebe Waller-Bridge and I have one thing in common: neither of us has six-pack abs.
No, the toned midriff she sported at the Screen Actors Guild Awards on Sunday night was not the product of her waking at 5am every day to plank and crunch her way to oblivion.
Fleabag - Style - Phoebe - ? - Acceptance
For, in true warts-and-all Fleabag style, Phoebe confessed — during her acceptance speech, no less — that her muscles had been painted on by her make-up artist just hours before, commenting: 'With all the chaos of the outfits, and the interviews and the six-pack that my make-up artist drew on me this evening . . . it's quite easy to be distracted.'
She's not the only one to get a little help in this department; make-up artists say that everyone from bodybuilders to teenage girls going on a night out use this technique to 'accentuate' their muscle definition.
A-lister - Abdominals - Suspicion - Past - Phoebe
Fellow A-lister abdominals have also fallen under suspicion in the past, although so far Phoebe is the only one who's had the good grace to admit it.
But on asking around, I realise plenty of my friends are at it, too — not necessarily painting on tummies, but shading in a collarbone here and a décolletage there.
Day - Day - Lack - Definition - Deal
Day to day, my own lack of definition is not a huge deal to me. When it comes to working out, I'm more focused on trying to beat my abysmal personal best running 5k around my local park than I am on developing washboard abs that would put Peter Andre to shame.
But if — a la Phoebe — I really could look ten times more toned in about ten minutes, why wouldn't I give it a try?
Sake - Everyone
So, for the sake of everyone who prefers...
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