Freedom from Mom and Dad

Biblical Counseling Coalition | 1/17/2020 | Staff
Night987Night987 (Posted by) Level 3
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“The relationship with your parents has had the most shaping influence on your brain and the trajectory of your story.”

A reputable therapist made this bold statement in a 2018 podcast episode titled “Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else.”[1] Both the quote and the episode title startled me. Do our parents really have that much power over our brains and life stories? Are we at the mercy of their molding hands? Are our fates deterministically sealed by our mothers’ and fathers’ actions, or lack thereof? Many therapists—like this one—seem to think so.

I don’t.

Yes, our relationships with our parents are formative. Our mothers and fathers have a tremendous influence on our development as children, adolescents, and adults. My dad’s alcoholism—and the chaotic home that resulted from it—have made me uniquely prone to grasp after control and stability as an adult. Women with absent or abusive fathers often seek inordinate male approval in romantic relationships. Parents who were belittled, berated, or beaten by their parents often repeat these unhealthy parenting patterns, for they know no different. The relationships that we’ve had with our moms and dads have certainly impacted who we are today.

Christians - Lives - Trajectories - Parents - Approaches

But as Christians, our lives are not set on fatalistic trajectories based on our parents’ often-flawed parental approaches. No Christian is a helpless victim of a troubled childhood or dysfunctional relationship with their mother and father.

Scripture makes this clear. If you are a Christian, the Bible says that four things are true of you.

Corinthians - Tells - Anyone - Christ - Creation

2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” When we submit our lives to Christ, God transforms us into fundamentally different creatures. He rewires our brains and causes us to think and act differently....
(Excerpt) Read more at: Biblical Counseling Coalition
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