How to Love a Difficult Person Without Them Controlling You

Rick Thomas | 11/17/2019 | Rick Thomas
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How do you stay true to what you believe while not offending those who aren’t willing to get on board with your perspectives and practices? What if you have a weaker brother or sister that you can’t correct? Does the “weakest link” in the relationship, group, or church determine how things will be? When do you take a stand for what you believe or capitulate to the other person?

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There are always two ditches in these types of relationships. You aim to stay out of both of them. In one, you cater to the person because you don’t want to offend them or experience their anger reactions. In the other, you can “bull your way through” without caring for the other person; you get what you want, but you damage the relationship in the process. Let me illustrate.

Struggles - Insecurity - Influences - Person - Adam

Mable struggles deeply with insecurity. Her three primary shaping influences made her into a fearful person. Adam shaped her, as well as other folks like her siblings, parents, and close friends. And the choices that she has made throughout her life have been significant shaping influences, too.

Everyone in her Bible study knows about her fear struggles, so they typically “tip-toe” around her because she has responded in anger whenever someone jostles her. Last year the leader of the group, Marge, called on Mable during group time, asking her a personal question. While it was an appropriate question, it mortified Mable. She tightened up as fear gripped her, and a surreal tone came over the group.

Afterward - Mable - Marge - Email - Time

Afterward, Mable sent Marge a nasty email, letting her know how hurt she was, and that she “had better not do it again.” Since that time,...
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