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Driving from New Mexico to Texas, from our trip to the mountains a couple of weeks ago, I told my husband I didn’t want to go home. It wasn’t the usual “Oh, vacation is so much fun! Let’s stay forever,” it was more like, “I haven’t thought about work once in the last 47 hours and this is the first deep breath I’ve taken in months.”
With his eyes on the road, he let out a deep sigh and said, “Yeah, I’m not ready either. I don’t want to crawl back under the heavy burden of Mercy House yet.”
Word - Picture - Silence - World - Map
His word picture stunned me into silence. I immediately imagined a world map with the faces and names scattered in countries around the globe depending on us to do just that– go back to work to keep doing what God has asked us to do.
How could we know that ten years after I said yes to a blogging trip to Kenya, we would be working at the non-profit that was a response to that trip? I didn’t know I would travel the world–anxiety in tow– or that I would carry a burden so heavy that some days I can barely breathe.
Rope - Friends
I’m hanging from a rope, friends.
Thankfully, that’s not the same as being at the end of my rope (I’ve been there too, but I’m in a much healthier mental and spiritual mindset than I’ve been in for years).
Days - Weeks - Months - Pit - Despair
I didn’t know that some days (weeks, months?) would feel like I was in the pit of despair that David wrote “you have put me in the lowest pit, in the dark places, the depths.”
Saying yes to a mountain so big and so scary has felt like a pit of uncertainty; it has magnified my inadequacy, amplified my fear. In obedience, I am living an uncomfortable,...
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