For Women Who Are Holding the World Together

(in)courage | 8/24/2019 | Staff
princia (Posted by) Level 3
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I’ve been biting my fingernails a lot. I pick and play with my cuticles when I’m anxious. I’ve been nervous about a lot of things recently — more things than I care to admit.

I’m nervous about my kids drowning, the number in our bank account, the responsibilities I’ve committed to.

Kids - Chores - Memorize - Verses - Thank

I’m embarrassed because I haven’t taught my kids how to do chores, memorize verses, or how to write thank you cards.

I dread so many things right now: I dread school starting, I dread the dentist appointment I have next week, I dread making dinner tonight.

Teenager - Outbursts - Son - Weight - Anger

I’m worried about my oldest becoming a teenager with his frequent emotional outbursts. I’m worried that my second son feels the weight of my anger. I’m worried my middle child is just that — the middle child. I am terrified that I am not present enough with my younger kids.

I’m ashamed because I don’t pray enough. I can go days without praying. I simply forget. As I’m typing this, I stop to pick at my nails. I told you I was nervous.

Clamor - List - Mind - Emotions - Logic

I cluster and clamor under my to-do list while my mind is fighting off my emotions with my logic. But logic can never appease my soul. Logic can never properly put my anxiety into place. It can never love me back.

When I stop, really stop, it makes me want to sleep. I’m so exhausted by the weight I hold in the middle of my chest. I can’t handle it all. I can’t handle all of me.

Prayer - God - Fears - Lives - Relationships

I whisper this prayer, “God, I have so many fears. I have so many lives and relationships to manage. I just might get swallowed up whole by the amount of stress I’m holding.” My heartbeat intensifies. But Jesus is...
(Excerpt) Read more at: (in)courage
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