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Years ago, I can remember my friend Tat telling me her favorite scene in the movie Tangled was the part when all of the lanterns float into the sky. “It’s beautiful, Aliza,” she said, “all of that light.”
I remember that night like it was yesterday. She wore her favorite red plaid shirt, her hair tied back in a half knot. I remember it so sharply because there won’t be another like it.
Year - Friend - Tat - Car - Accident
Almost a year ago, my friend Tat was killed in a car accident, and I am still brimming with grief.
Last year, a week after Tat died, my church community wanted to do something to honor her. Of course, a week into our grief, we had no idea what could possibly encapsulate the short life of our beautiful friend.
Thought - Lanterns - Hundreds - Lanterns - Sky
My first thought was floating lanterns. I wanted us to light hundreds of lanterns into the sky for Tat. Hundreds were a bit optimistic, so we settled for twenty.
Dozens of us crowded in a circle in the center of a dark field, our grief palpable. We were awkward; we didn’t know what to say. We shuffled our feet, looking at one another, unsure of how we were supposed to be feeling. We began lighting the lanterns, one by one.
Except . . . they wouldn’t light.
Last night, I drove home from work. All day long, I felt sick with grief. I was exhausted from the weight of it. Even a year later, the sadness is a seemingly constant companion.
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