The IM Saturday Monks Brunch: July 27, 2019 — Politics free edition | 7/27/2019 | Chaplain Mike

Today’s Brunch is a “politics free” zone. We had enough of that yesterday, as you can see in the action shot above, taken from yesterday’s comment section. So today, just relax, laugh, and tend your wounds.

A dark horse presidential candidate has come out of nowhere: Larry the Cucumber. He shot to fame almost immediately after his promise of giving everyone a water buffalo.

President - Everyone - Water - Buffalo - Campaign

“When I am president, everyone will have a water buffalo,” he said at a campaign speech. “Yours may be fast, and mine may be slow, but the important thing is that we’re achieving total equality when it comes to water buffalo possession in this nation.” Cucumber admitted he doesn’t have a plan, however, for where he will get them. “Where will we get them? Uh… I don’t know. But everyone will have a water buffalo!”

After turning 75 this week, legendary folk-rock artist Bob Dylan has decided to go back into the studio and remix some of his classic albums so they will appeal more to people his own age…and also to Mennonites.

Mennonites - Dylan - Voice - Signature - Sound

Mennonites have always appreciated Dylan’s nasal voice, and have imitated his signature sound in their church singing. Dylan, it seems, is finally capitalizing on his popularity with the conservative religious group, by re-releasing his seminal Christian rock album “Slow Train Coming,” this time at half the tempo.

“In addition to slowing it right down, I’ve also eliminated drums and electric guitar. It’s basically an a cappella album – Mennonites love that stuff,” said Dylan from his Malibu mansion. “For decades people thought that Christian music thing was just a phase. But now the gospel train is back, and it’s slower than ever!”

Label - Execs - Speed - Mennonites

Label execs are enthusiastic about the new speed, and believe it can appeal to more than just Mennonites.

“We kind of feel that Dylan can be the new...
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