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“With no one else has it been more difficult to have consistent, uplifting spiritual conversations than with my wife. . . . And I’m sure she would say the same.”
Grimaced nods suggested he wasn’t alone. Fights, misunderstandings, indifference, exhaustion, busyness, and insecurities made consistent soul-intimacy feel next to impossible. Co-existing, many of us had experienced, was easier than co-mingling. Some of the men around the table had given up entirely, explaining away their hunger for it as “something that just doesn’t work for us.”
Leaders - Homes - Struggles - Women - Care
As spiritual leaders of our homes, we brainstormed why the struggles persisted. Some had married extremely competent women who could take care of their own spiritual lives well enough (and had done so for years). These women didn’t seem to need us to nourish their souls and wash them with the water of the word (Ephesians 5:25–27) — some of the men felt that they actually slowed their wife down. Others of us couldn’t talk much about anything without it leading to an argument. Others felt too exhausted from work to go deep when they got home. Others feared losing their wife’s respect because they weren’t a biblical scholar like other men she appreciated.
Whatever the reason, she had her Bible study; we had ours. She read this book; we read that book. We may pray together before meals. Many of our most in-depth talks stood as distant memories. While dating, the day didn’t afford enough hours to discuss all we wanted to concerning the Lord. Now, we seemed prepared to go deep with anyone but her. What happened? Together in bed, apart in soul. We had become spiritual roommates.
Spouse - Intimacy - Brothers - Group - Friends
Sometimes, our spouse can be the hardest Christian to have spiritual intimacy with. We can go deep with close brothers, our small group, those we disciple, or old friends...
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