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Should the repatriation of jihadi bride Shamima Begum go according to the usual script, she will arrive back in Britain on a private jet, chartered at tax- payers’ expense.
After a tearful reunion with her family, she will be whisked off to the BBC and interviewed sympathetically on the Today programme about the British and American ‘aggression’ which caused her to join ISIS.
Fear - Coalition - Bombs - Women - Children
We will hear how she was forced to cower in fear as Coalition bombs rained down indiscriminately on innocent women and children.
Ms Begum will talk about the terrible racism and ‘Islamophobia’ she suffered growing up in the East End of London and how she came to believe she could only find true safety and fulfilment living in the self-proclaimed Islamic State.
Housing - List - Council - Baby - Assortment
After being fast-tracked up the housing waiting list, she will move into a council flat with her new baby, claiming an assortment of benefits and reinventing herself as a ‘yuman rites’ activist.
Pretty soon, she’ll be reviewing the papers on Sky News and writing a column in the Guardian.
Government - Compensation - Aid - Win
She’ll probably sue the Government for compensation. On legal aid, naturally. And win.
If we’re very lucky, her celebrity will wane eventually and she’ll be content living a normal life, quietly bringing up her child to be a model British citizen.
Worst - Case - Scenario - Pound - Semtex
Worst case scenario, she straps half a pound of Semtex under her burka and detonates it on a Circle Line Tube train, blowing herself and dozens of other passengers to Kingdom Come.
So is she a victim or a villain? The jury’s out, when it should be in the pub over the road with a well-earned pint to celebrate a unanimous ‘guilty’ verdict.
Citizenship - **** - Mitigation
While I sympathise with those who believe we should strip her of British citizenship and leave her to rot in ****, we are being urged to remember, in mitigation, she was only...
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