The Bachelor Raised the Bar on First Kisses Forever

TVGuide.com | 2/4/2019 | Liam Mathews
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This week on The Bachelor, Heather had the first kiss of her entire life and Colton Underwood realized they were both finally ready to get married. lol jk. They showed footage of her brushing her teeth. It was all a big joke!

Heather got the first date of the episode, and she and Colton took a longtail boat around to the rock formations in the beautiful blue Andaman Sea. If you're gonna have a first kiss, Thailand is a good place to do. Heather, 23, would like you to know that she's come close to kissing people before but never went through with it. Meanwhile, back at the house, Elyse — who went on a 1-on-1 a few weeks ago — started to despair about the state of her relationship with Colton. This previewed the meltdown that was going to come later in the episode.

Heather - Colton - Kisses - Monkeys - Date

Heather and Colton blew kisses at monkeys on their date. And the camera focused really hard on their mouths while they were eating. But the show actually showed them eating, which almost never happens during dates! They even ate ice cream! Then they sat on a dock and had a brain-hurtingly mundane conversation when they should have just been making out, but they didn't kiss. Then during dinner, Heather talked about how she dated a dude for eight months and didn't kiss him, which makes me want to scream just hearing it. That guy most be the most patient person in the history of the world. He's going to be made a saint someday. Saint Trevor of Carlsbad. Colton gave her a rose. Still no kiss. They went for a walk on the beach to a little bonfire. By this point I was chanting "kiss! kiss! kiss!" And then there were fireworks, and then and only then...
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