Crime Scene Doughnuts and Hurricane Heists: The Best Trash Movies of 2018

/Film | 1/7/2019 | Chris Evangelista
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To quote the poet Oscar the Grouch, “Oh, I love trash.” There’s a soft-spot in my heart for trash movies. The trashier the better. I’m not talking about the worst movies of the year. Nor am I talking about movies that are so bad they’re good. Instead, I’m referring to a special type of a film – one that is perfectly content to be, well, garbage. Movies with little-to-no ambition that aren’t trying to do…anything. Except present you with cheap, cheesy, trashy spectacle. These are the type of movies destined to play on fuzzy TVs in cheap motel rooms. The type of films you put on in the background as you sit in a one-bedroom apartment, guzzling cheap gin and eating microwave pizza. The motion pictures you wake up to at 3 a.m., blurry-eyed, cotton-mouthed, and not sure where the **** you are. These are the best trash movies of 2018.

Here’s the pitch for The Meg: there’s a big shark. That’s it, really. Alright, I guess I should add a caveat (spoiler alert): there are two big sharks. What will those geniuses in Hollywood think of next? A big elephant, perhaps? Or a big goat, maybe?

Time - Steve - Alten - Best-seller - Meg

It took a very long time to bring Steve Alten’s 1997 best-seller Meg to the big screen, and the end-result certainly wasn’t worth the wait. Hampered by a watered-down PG-13 rating, The Meg has no real bite. What it does have, though, is Jason Statham running and swimming around with a blank look on his face. If you told me that someone just made a motionless rubber Statham mask and put it on some random dude’s face for most of the movie, I’d believe you.

Statham’s character and the big-**** shark have a long history together – they dated in high school. No, wait, sorry, that’s...
(Excerpt) Read more at: /Film
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