The Biggest Lie about Surrender — and Why You Can’t Afford to Believe It

Ann Voskamp | 8/8/2018 | Staff
Emzah92Emzah92 (Posted by) Level 3
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guest post by Jennifer Dukes Lee

If you asked me five years ago, I naively would have told you that I didn’t struggle with control.

Everything - Way

I mean, seriously— as long as everything went exactly the way I hoped, I was totally flexible.

I said I trusted God but had reached the point where I realized I actually didn’t.

People

It’s not that I wanted to control other people.

Mostly, I wanted to control myself.

Expectations - Anyone - Version - Control - Face

If I ever had high expectations of anyone, it was of me. I wanted to present the self-assured, together version of my whole being. Which means I craved control over my face, my emotions, my body, my food, my words, my house, my schedule, my yard, my future.

My preference was a tidy, predictable, safe life where no one got hurt, where my kids remained in one piece, where there was no pain for anyone ever again, amen.

God - Point - Jesus - Girl

I said I trusted God but had reached the point where I realized I actually didn’t. As a Jesus girl, this shocked me.

Clearly, my old systems of coping weren’t working: My desire to obsessively orchestrate my whole life was burning me out.

Mom - Kids - Ministry - Leader - Call

As a mom, I heard myself snapping at my kids. As a ministry leader, I knew that I was functioning within my call, but I didn’t feel fulfilled.

I was tired, even after a regular night’s sleep. And I found myself zoning out during conversations with my husband, because I was mentally making lists of everything I needed to get done.

Gas

In short, I ran out of gas.

Maybe the empty tank was God’s way of bringing me to a dead stop, so I would finally pay attention. It worked. God got my attention, and maybe he’s trying to get yours too.

Imagine - Gas - Imagining

Imagine that it’s you who’s run out of gas. Maybe that doesn’t take much imagining after all,...
(Excerpt) Read more at: Ann Voskamp
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