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“I am battling how unequal parenting feels sometimes. Is that normal?”
I immediately answered my friend’s text with, “Yes! So normal.” And then I speed-texted down memory lane and shared with her a handful of stories from when my kids were young and I was constantly battling a sense that this isn’t fair.
Sense - Motherhood
But the sense that this isn’t fair is not reserved for motherhood alone.
Amongst students: Hey, I study way harder, why is she getting better grades?
Amongst - Chores - Praise
Amongst siblings: I do more chores, why does he receive more praise?
Amongst neighbors: How did he land such a high paying job?
Amongst - Colleagues - Promotion - One - Deal
Amongst colleagues: Why did she get the promotion when I’m the one who sealed the last deal?
Amongst pastors: How is that guy’s church growing so fast? He’s a terrible preacher.
Moms - CEOs - Christian - Ministry - Worker
Whether we are moms, CEOs or in full-time Christian ministry, we compare ourselves to one another. And, undoubtedly, we consider ourselves the harder worker, the better performer, the one who deserves a bit more. I knew exactly what my friend’s SOS text was all about, because I have been there and I am still there, more often than I’d like to admit.
I shared with her two things that I have tried to practice over the years when the sense that this isn’t fair rears its ugly head.
1. Put blinders on.
Have you ever seen a race horse? They often wear blinders on the sides of their eyes so they can’t see what’s happening next to them. They can only focus on what’s ahead—the goal, the finish line. Their jockeys know that if they look to the left or to the right, they will slow down and become distracted.
Others - Eyes
And so it is with us. When we look around at how others are performing, we become distracted. We get consumed with critiquing them and take our eyes...
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