Top 25 Jokes from the Bruce Willis Roast on Comedy Central

Collider | 7/16/2018 | Jeff Sneider
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The Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis may not air until July 29 but Collider had a front row seat to the taping of the show on Saturday night, and let’s just say that nothing was off limits on stage, be it the #MeToo movement or Bruce’s infamous hairline.

Thirty years after Die Hard swung into theaters via firehose, Willis has become a Hollywood legend, so it seemed only appropriate that he’d have some legendary peers to make fun of him, such as Cybill Shepherd, Martha Stewart, Dom Irrera, Kevin Pollak, Dennis Rodman and the Roastmaster General himself, Jeff Ross. The rest of the dais included Nikki Glaser, Lil Rel Howery and Edward Norton, who was the only one to write his own material. The three-time Oscar nominee used his cerebral set to joke about how he was slumming it by appearing on Comedy Central, as well as lament his Oscar loss to “the **** insurance guy” J.K. Simmons and the fact that Quentin Tarantino has never called him. Willis’ ex-wife Demi Moore also made a successful surprise appearance, while the crowd included previous roastee David Hasselhoff, as well as the Schmoedown’s own Samm Levine and Rachel Cushing.

Evening - Package - Marcellus - Wallace - Ving

The evening started with a video package featuring Marcellus Wallace (Ving Rhames) warning Willis’ Pulp Fiction character not to let pride **** with him at his own roast. “You’re a 63 year-old action star. That’s a hard **** fact of life. If you think it gets better with age, it won’t. I’ve seen the movies you’ve made. You never had any pride. It’s time to get medieval on your ****.” That was followed by a cool title sequence that referenced a bunch of Willis’ movies such as Sin City, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, The Fifth Element and 12 Monkeys, and featured the classic Die...
(Excerpt) Read more at: Collider
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