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I fell asleep watching Netflix the other night.
I’ve been binge-watching old medical TV shows this summer. I don’t really know why they fascinate me, but I think it’s because every episode ends with a diagnosis and a conclusion. And I don’t know about you, but my days (and life) have a lot of loose ends.
Kids - House - Thing - Show - Bed
My kids were spread around the house doing their own thing. I paused my show, sent my youngest to bed and resumed my mindless activity.
It’s become my pattern lately. I’m tired and I want time alone to do nothing. When my kids were little, I used to wait until they were asleep to start any “me time.” As they have gotten older and busier, it’s given me more free time to do things for myself.
Thing - Wave - Soul - Mom - Guilt
The next thing I remember was waking to a wave of overwhelming, soul crushing mom guilt.
Guilt is an unwelcomed guest that comes to visit every once in awhile. Usually when it rears its ugly head, I’m able to speak truth to myself and dismiss it immediately.
Time - Kids - Bed
You should have spent time with your kids before they went to bed.
You’re watching too much TV.
Wasting - Time
You’re going to regret wasting time you could have spent together.
You aren’t the mom you used to be.
You could be a better mother.
This time was a little tougher. Because I believed the accusations. Guilt often hits us where it hurts because there’s just enough truth mixed in to make the sucker punch effective.
Heart - Palms
My heart was pounding and my palms were sweating and the more...
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